Time (?) killer

http://www.ratemykitten.com

I guess you have to be a cat owner to appreciate it. I tend to make up captions to go with the interesting photos. Like this one…

“…and this is where I nailed the stupid bird. Dead on impact. Never saw me coming. The rest don’t come down here anymore. They just drop all these pink flower petals. Guess they miss the poor idiot. ‘Course, they’re all idiots. (big sigh) I hope they forget to stay in the tree soon.”

Sometimes I wish I could make anime

Weekend summary

• slept
• read
• posted 5 new bumper stickers for sale
• slept
• read
• introduced cat to squeaky goldfish toy

I am addicted

Act II Caramel Popcorn is my new weakness.

I wonder how the caramel melty pack would work over rice?…

FREE* laptop works, if you don’t take “free” literally

I confess. I gave in. I clicked on a banner ad telling me to “rope the calf” to get a free* laptop.

And ya know, it worked. But only after I had been put through so many paces that I felt like I was the show animal at the rodeo.

Here’s the trick: to get the free* laptop, you are first sent through Opt-in Hell, page after page of offers which you can decide to take or decline. Most are offers to get more info on getting a degree online, herbal medicine, and so on. Sometimes you’re forced to take at least one offer on the page.

Now, Opt-in Hell has nothing to do with the tricks you must perform to actually get the laptop. After you’ve navigated Opt-in Hell, you find out that you must complete a certain number of sponsor offers in order to claim the free* laptop. Example: complete 3 offers from the selections on page 1, complete 6 offers on page 2, and 2 offers from page 3. Offers range from a monthly wine club to credit card applications, from BMG Music to herbal medicine samples. And yes, they usually cost $$. Complete all the offers, send in your claim form and notarized tax form for gifts over $600, and you’ll get your free* laptop.

And yes, it works. But really, I think you’re earning the laptop by performing like a trick poodle and paying for your trials/samples/memberships from your own pocket.

I am using my “reward” right now, taking advantage of the air conditioning and free wireless at Panera. Although MSRP on this laptop is $799, I could pick up the same thing today at Office Depot for around $450. It’s not a bad model — Toshiba Satellite with DVD-ROM/CD-RW and built-in wireless. But by demeaning myself to what I consider the worst of Internet marketing models, I have instead earned this laptop by spending about $160 on offers.

If you’re a “glass if half full” person, you could say that I spent $160 on a laptop with the trials, samples, etc., as bonuses. I just have to remember to cancel the monthly Hoodia supply and online music trial before my card gets charged again.

Here are some tips to reduce your pain if you want to go for that free* laptop:

1. Get a throw-away email address.
   Don’t even start the process until you do this. Sign up for an email address that you will use only for the required offers. You’ll get so much email that you’ll be very glad it’s not infiltrating your real email account. Not only will you get email confirmations of the offers you actually sign up for, you could get 50 or more emails a day on other offers from marketing companies. But keep this email address until all your trials, etc., are cancelled and you get your laptop.
   .
2. Be diligent in checking the “no” boxes through Opt-in Hell.
   Some offers won’t have yes or no marked. Some will have yes marked as soon as you land on the page. (I’m guessing it depends on how much the advertiser paid.) You’re protected in part because you’re using a throw-away email address, but you can reduce the amount of emails you get by choosing “no” on everything. (If you’re like me, you might feel like saying “no” to everything will send a message to the marketers involved. But hey, I still jumped through the hoops, so I’m not sure who the real sucker is here.) And remember, these offers are not related to earning** your laptop. (Pages that list offers which count towards your laptop will be clearly marked.)
   .
3. View all the required offer pages before deciding what to sign up for.
   I suggest this method so you can figure out how to spend the least amount of $$ on required offers. If there’s 3 things you’re willing to take on the page that only requires you to fulfill 2 offers, check to see if one of those offers is also on the page where you must complete 6. If you’re really frugal, go ahead and take notes about the offers on each page and figure out how to spend the least amount of $$. (see tip #4 too)
   .
4. Be willing to wait if you don’t see enough offers that you want to take.
   When I first went through the process, there were only 4 offers on the last page, and I had to complete 3 of them. I was a bit miffed. Two of the offers were for different Discover cards, and I wasn’t about to damaged my credit by using them. But when I checked back about a week later, there were 5 additional offers there. Whew. So instead of than signing up for that $150/month wine club just to fulfill one last offer, wait and see if something pops up like a $39.95 sample of rapid hair growth shampoo. Fewer bucks from your wallet, and chances are you can return the shampoo for at least a partial refund.
   .
5. Look for a link to “check gift status” or something similar. Go to that page and bookmark it.
   This is the page where you can check to see if your completed offers have gone through yet. You can also re-access those offer pages to complete your required number of offers. This is helpful for tip #4.
   .
6. Print receipt pages of all offers you sign up for.
   Before you leave the offer site, look for the cancellation method of the trial or membership and write down the 800 number or email address to contact them. Also note the date you need to make the cancellation in order to avoid extra credit card charges.
   .
7. Remember that you will pay taxes on this free* laptop at the end of the year because it is a gift over $600.

Now, the only thing left to decide is if I want to get a free* 32″ plasma TV….

* Anywhere you see “get a free* thing” and the word free is followed by the asterisk *, it probably means that some kind of membership or participation is required.

And in case you’re curious, I get no commission if you decide to complete one of these offers linked above. I simply linked to the websites I signed up with.